To be or Not to be

February 27-28

Adrian's office had moved to KL Sentral from Menara Keck Seng on Jalan Bukit Bintang as the space rental had shot up way too high since Pavillion KL came about across the busy road. He had to return to the new office to move boxes and unpack. Yes, he became coolie for the last two days together with some others. The whole exercise, in my humble opinion after hearing all the problems they had and came across in the new office, was extremely badly coordinated by the Admin & HR department.

While he was busy in office from morning 10am to night 8pm, I was busy with laundry, cleaning the house and mopping the floor, ironing, did gardening and prepare my own meals. The day before, we had a chat upon his return, and I asked how the all moving went. The movers had moved all the boxes from the old office to the new, but could not move them to the various departments and workstations respectively because the workstations were not fully set up. They had to move them to another area in the new office. Since the set up was only completed few hours later, the staffs had to move the boxes themselves to where the files and documents had to be kept, and since they did not complete the exercise that night, they had to return to office today to move the rest of the boxes and items.

My first thought was that someone should have gone to the new office to check on the progress of the workstation setup, and ensure that the place is ready for the movers and items, with designated areas labelled for ease and convenience.

He grabbed a few large black garbage bags from the storage cabinet, and I asked he had to bring garbage bags to office. The reply was that the item was missed out from the exercise checklist. Duh! of course they have to be made available. Anyone would have anticipated that there would be items to discard, even if they were just papers.

Perhaps it would have been a relatively easier task for one who has done such massive exercise and coordination. Perhaps the person-in-charge had not had the experience, hence overlooked all these smaller details. I guess this is what many mean by being having the actual experience and theoretical knowledge. In theory, the rest of items or factors are status quo while in real situation, there are many variables, and many contributing elements that could affect the plan and flow. Assumptions do not work. One cannot assume that the contractors would finsih the setup by the deadline set. One also cannot assume that everything would be packed into the boxes and be moved to the new place.

What's amazing of all was that only 20 percent of the entire workforce came in on Saturday to help and ensure the exercise was completed. So where is the team spirit? Where has the sense of resposnbility and ownership gone to? I didn't realise that the company belongs only to 20 percent of staffs.

Handbook?

February 20

A friend forwarded me a mail, which read life handbook 2009. I read, and have decided to have it placed as an entry because there ware so much truth in every line, every tip. Why then practise just in 2009? If the tips are beneficial and good, then they should be adopted every year, for many more great ones to come.

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Make time for prayer.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did the year before.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.


Personality:

11. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realise that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:

25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

32. Do the right thing!
33. Always speak the truth even if it leads to your death.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

May you find these as great reminders as I did.

St Valentine's Day

February 14

They called it a day of love :) a day of celebration in rememberance of martyred saints in ancient Rome. It is known as Feast of St Valentine, to remember the noble men revered by men, and whose acts known only to God. Along the way, it also became a day for lovers to express their adoration and love for one another, and in modern days has been overrated and commercialised.

Adrian was to return from his overseas project the same night, with his flight to touch down approximately 10.30pm. I wanted to surprise him with something he would need - a mobile phone - since his unit konked out and he was using my old Nokia.

I was in One Utama close to lunch time, and to my surprise, there were plenty of parking. After I got the SE phone, I was strolling around. Not many people but there were couples. Most of the ladies had a stalk of rose in their hands, with the other in the clutch of their other halves. As I was watching each couple, I felt a strange flow of sadness for them. I certainly hold no grudge against any couple or the day being a lovers' day. But is this day the only day to express one's love for another? If it is, then it is sad that expressing love and cherish has become an annual act. I guess in a way in making the purchase of the mobile phone, I too was no different from these couples caught up with the overrated celebration. I don't know about others. Adrian and I have the common understanding that we do not waste our money pampering each other just because it was Valentine's Day. Instead we agreed that we only buy a big gift once a year. You see, Valentine's Day, our birthdays and wedding anniversary are very close to each other. So instead of getting three different things, we each get the other one decent, useful and practical item. I guess we feel that the money spent would be a little more justifiable. Three occassion are probably good reasons to get something good and nice.

Topping that is probably our agreement that we don't do extravagent dinners that cost like RM200 / person on any of these days, especially Valentine's Day. Strictly no fresh bouquets, or teddy bears. We would just go to our favourite restaurants and have our favourite dishes on each other's birthdays. The bills, if possible, are to be less than RM100 for two. To us, we just want to have a good time, with good food in the company of each other. Perhaps some may say that we are overpractical, and least romantic and seem to have lost some excitement and surprise. Contrary to that, we actually have not :). To us, romance is just not about how much we spend, or how romantic dinners have been. It is how much sensitivity and attention given to the other in small ways, in the little things that we say and do daily.

I don't know about other ladies but I would rather have Adrian thinking of me when he passes a pastry stall, and buys me a nice piece of pastry that I'd like, or buys me a bottle of imported beer that I have not tried, or replenishes the supply of cammomile tea that I enjoy, or gets me a copy of my favourite comic, Baby Blues. Now that's Valentine's Day for me, every other day!

What's the Pink Cause

October 29

A common question I receive by friends on my IM list, be it on YM, MSN or G-Talk as my status box in all these three has been promoting support for breast cancer awareness. A little more than month ago my aunt was diagnosed with stage one of breast cancer, had a mastectomy and an anxilliary surgery to remove glands from her armpit, and is now undergoing radiotherapy. It has been two weeks and she has three more weeks to go before six sessions of chemotherapy.

As she waited for the results of the biopsy earlier, there was deep fear in her eyes and resignation on her face to accept the worst. She decided that her mum, my grandma was not to know about it. She chose to withheld the news from her son and daughter-in-law who are currently working in Japan. When the day came for the results, I called her. It was obvious over the phone that she had been crying. It was heart-wrenching to hear the devastation in her voice, yet she spoke words of assurance and strength. She would know what to do and how to manage and I was not to worry.

I asked around if anyone was to know what sort of diet she should be having to increase the chance of healing, as well as to lessen the side effects of chemotheraphy. My chiropractor's mum was kind enough to share the list of herbs and items that promote wellbeing while undergoing the treatments.
No family history of breast cancer in the family. No eating out. Every meal was homecooked. Good diet of moderate carbohydrates, proteins, and lots of fibres. No smoking, no alcohol, no late nights, moderate exercise with all the house chores (never had a maid and raised two kids) and walking to and from bus stands and train stations for work.

Many can say the dreaded disease chooses anyone it fancies but the good thing was that it was detected early and removed. The suspected culprit were late menopause and the hormone replacement pills which she had been consuming for the past seven years. Yes, women on HRT are at increased risk of getting breast cancer. This fact was not made known to her. The saddest part was her O&G failed to highlight that those pills were not to be consumed for more than five years.

Now, most important of all is healing through treatments, with faith that God will make her well. Changing to a less stressful lifestyle and take things slower. Eat less meat and take more dark-coloured vegetables and fruits. Staying strong and positive in mind, body and soul with the support of loved ones and friends. And sharing her story and helping to build the awareness of breast cancer prevention and cure.

Breast cancer affects one in every 19 women in Malaysia. Early detection increases the chances of cure. Don't take life for granted!

http://www.malaysiaoncology.org/article.php?aid=114

Who Packs Your Parachute?

October 29

Charles Plumb was a US Navy jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from that experience. Talk about turning the negative into the positive.

One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, "You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!" "How in the world did you know that?" asked Plumb. "I packed your parachute," the man replied. Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, "I guess it worked!" Plumb assured him, "It sure did. If your chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be here today."

Plumb couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man. Plumb said after, "I kept wondering what he had looked like in a Navy uniform: a white hat; a bib in the back; and bell-bottom trousers. I wonder how many times I might have seen him and not even said 'Good morning, how are you?' or anything because, you see, I was a fighter pilot and he was just a sailor." Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor had spent at a long wooden table in the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he didn't know.

Now, Plumb asks his audience, "Who's packing your parachute?" Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day. He also points out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down over enemy territory - he needed his physical parachute, his mental parachute, his emotional parachute, and his spiritual parachute. He called on all these supports before reaching safety.

Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important. We may fail to say hello, please, or thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice for no reason. As you go through this week, this month, this year, recognise people who pack your parachutes and be grateful for them. If you are taking them for granted, stop now because as easily as they came into your life to make things easier for you, they can also slip away just as quietly.

" Your mind is like a parachute. It only works if it is open." - Anthony J. D'Angelo

Touching Lives

October 16

I had the privilege to run though the results of two pilot ICT-Community Service projects in an update meeting which I was asked sit in. Slides, videos and pictures of undergraduates volunteered to train the IT deprived adults as well as underprivileged youths and to use personal computers and applications went up the screen.

One pilot took place in PJ in a community centre whilst the other in a home for the underprivileged in Semenyih. The former saw eight participants as young as seven and as advanced as 53 picking up the skills and knowledge. They were students, housewives, retirees and even hawkers. From zero literacy, they were able to browse the Internet, email to loved ones overseas, put up blogs and pictures, do PPT presentations and other basic applications.

The latter was children and youths in a home that worked toward raising funds through an Open Day, of which they used the applications to prepare proposal to obtain permission from the home administrator for the Open Day project, design and print invitation cards, flyers, send email invites, prepare presentation, and create a blog on the home itself.

In the midst of learning all these, the undergraduate trainers, who were trained and guided by a life coach specialised in NLP and lifelong learning, in both pilots helped developed in these lives another area often received the least focus - personal development. That was the second objective of the community initiative.

Not only these individuals built higher self-belief and confidence, faith and trust, teamwork, enhanced their creativity, and most of all, resourcefulness, the trainers themselves took back valuable lessons of perseverence, patience and putting others above themselves.

As I saw it, those had more deep rooting impact than applied IT. Yes, ICT helps to bridge many gaps and divides, across geographical vastness and value add to technical and applied skills needed in a working world. However, the intangible lessons and intrinsic values help character building, and character builds personality. That is what would bring these children and youths far in life, as persons.

Price of Vanity

September 13

"Cheryl, you are one of the 50 recipients of the complimentary vouchers from Bizzy Body whom we have selected to extend our promotion to. When would you like to come in?", asked Karen from the Uptown Bizzy Body outlet few days after the voucher had expired on August 31. The voucher came when I made some purchases from Edmundser 1Utama about two months back during sales. The voucher was for a facial or a body slimming session. I had totally forgotten about it. The call took me by surprise rather than delight. Oh well, I thought I might as well give it a try, and made an appointment.

As I was waiting to be attended to, I saw a few middle-aged ladies came through some doors after their facial treatments and realised I was the youngest. Of course the outlet service staffs, beauticians and consultants were much younger, well groomed, and good looking.

Before the session commenced, the outlet manager and beauty consultant, Hooi Ping sat down with me to run through some Q&A, a session done with each client and deemed necessary to understand clients' lifestyle, diet and beauty regime. My regime turned out to be the most basic and minimal - cleansing, toning, moisturising. No skin-whitening products, no day or night serum, no anti-wrinkle products, no hydrating cream or whatsoever, and no weekly or monthly facial treatments. Firstly I was just too lazy to do anything more than the necessary, secondly nothing that would escalate my cost of living, and thirdly, too impatient to spend hours in front of the mirror looking back at myself.

The other questions on body care and body slimming received affimative no from me. Never thought of slim wrapping, or any other body care and slimming therapies except for gym workouts. I could not really determine the expression on her face, whether it was contempt that I seemed to lack regards for body care, or sorry that I was ignorant to body care as part of personal grooming.

My weight and height was recorded before i was to be attended to by another body slimming therapist, Jeannie. In I went to a room for slim wrapping after changing into a satin-like robe. Measurements were taken, from my arms all the way down to my ankles. Ginseng essential oil was applied on my arms, mid torso and legs before three to four layers of tight string wraps went around. I could hardly walk, except to hobble a few steps and plopped myself onto the therapy bed, which had a thermal blanket-like wrap spread out. Soon after i was wrapped up like a cocoon and Jeannie turned on the heat, and adjusted the temperature. It lasted 30 minutes.

The subsequent 30 minutes were spent on what I would term as mild electrocution. Electrodes were selectively placed on areas that required slimming. Similar to the electrodes used when one does electrocardiogram (or ECG in short, a test to record electrical activity of the heart), except that they were slightly larger. While the ECG records the electrical waves, the machine for the slimming therapy was sending out the electrical current that resulted in the selected areas to vibrate. The higher the intensity, the higher the vibration. Measurements were taken again when the session ended.

The therapy session, had i to pay for it, would have cost RM520. Yes, it was an experience to know what slim wrap was like, especially Rosie Phua in Phua Chu Kang seemed to be obsessed with the treatment (haha). This is what I would term as an activity for the rich and famous. As for me, even if I turned a billionaire overnight, such therapy is not of any priority. I must say though that it is a fast-growing business as beauty trend takes on a new perspective, and spending power for such treatment is on the rise.

It is undeniable that beauty can be an asset for monetary gains, hence the price tag. Exceptionally beautiful people walk on fashion runways, appear on commercials, or on the covers of lifestyle, beauty or fashion magazines. That is how the world sees beauty, not that it's wrong, just a different perception. Such has been the benchmark adopted by society in general for the longest time.

Beauty is really quite subjective and is perceived differently by different people, different races. Does it matter if one is tall, average, below average, petite, lanky, voluptuous, muscular, fair, dark, or tan? Everyone is beautiful (and clothier, WH takes on this tagline). As they say, beauty is skin deep and beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

Price tag or no price tag, benchmark or no benchmark, whatever shapes and sizes and colour, well, that is probably something worth pondering upon. And sometimes, not everything is about physical beauty, and dollars and cents. I once read, being beautiful may not neccessary be a good thing. Hmmm...

Making My Stand

July 27

Born in the Land of Peace, known to many as Taiping, to a father who was into contruction and a mum who was then a factory worker, I was taken care full time by my grandparents and aunts who were then not married. Three years down the road, my sister Wendee came along, and my mum quit her job, with the very intention to fulfill her role as a full time homemaker. At the tender age of three, I already had a mind of my own. I refused to leave my beloved grandparents. I remember the first my parents took me home, hoping (and probably attempting to cut the attachment) that I'll forget the older couple. When night came and realising that they would not take me home to my grandparents', I started crying. Children, after a while would have probably given in to exhaustion but not me. I sat by the bed whole night through, wide awake and cheeks stained with dried tears. I was adamant to state my stand. So yes, I outdid my parents'so-called persistence and back i went to my grandparents' the next morning.

Being the only grandchild living with the elderly couple, I grew up pretty much alone, with neighbours' kids as playmates. We did all sorts of activities that 'kampung' kids would have done - running all over bare-footed, played hide-and-seek, climbed rambutan trees, mango trees, even coconut trees, and bicycled around. We raced each other barefooted, caught spiders, which we kept in match boxes, and grasshoppers too. We played with 'longkang' fish and caught tadpoles, getting ourselves filthy, smelly and sweaty. You can imagine my grandma screaming her head off each time she saw the filthy me. Once I had gotten a neighbour's flower pot partially broken whilst I tried to ride on her son, my fellow playmate's bicyle at the age of five. We hid the broken pieces, hoping that she'd never noticed. Yes, she did, and we got quite an earful.

I attended a co-ed school in my primary years. Growing up with boys (and girls), I learned to play as hard as they did. There were the girl games - batu seremban, the dance on the skipping rope made of rubber bands tied together. With the boys, there were chopper, a game which we threw tennis ball at the members of the opposing team, fighter jets play cards, and marbles. There were two incidents that saw me whacked two boy classmates of mine. One was me landing a big slap across his face and the other got a thump on his head. The one who got the thump was seated next to me in class and he was loud and a real chatterbox. The other got fingerprints on his right cheek because he was verbally bullying one of my girlfriends for being on the heavier side. Guess i was making a stand - respect your (girl) friends.

The Opposite of Fate

July 24

This blogsite was created when my friend, Nicholas encouraged me to start my own blog, so here I am trying to get something up. (Thanks Nick, for such faith in me :P)

Sitting in front of my laptop, I am trying to think / recall what I had been up to, to get things going. The Opposite of Fate ( http://contemporarylit.about.com/od/essay/fr/oppositeFate.htm) is the title of the book I am currently reading. Bought from the bookstore over a year ago whilst I was waiting for my flight to Jakarta, I left it on the shelf, and had not done justice to it. Over a week ago, I picked it up and started reading. The Opposite of Fate saw the author examining her relationship with her mum, and as I was reading, I started examining my own dysfunctional family.

My relationship with my parents was in a way exasperating, hollow and bland. When my dad passed away in 1991,not a single tear was shed although I wished I had. It would have been easier for me and my siblings, relatives and cousins at the funeral. I just didn't . Simple truth - i was not touched to the core with grief; and that was because I was never raised by my parents. I had never lived with them. My maternal grandparents and aunts took on the task of raising me. I never got the toys and luxuries a child should have had because my parents never bought me any. I never discovered what birthday celebrations were like until i was 21 because I never got any cakes or gifts from them. I was out of their mind most of the time.

After more than 30 years of physical and emotional detachment, I would think I have forgiven my parents for what i deemed as failure to carry out their responsibilities as parents. Without doubt, my maternal grandparents and aunt did a great job, and provided me the necessities, including pocket money for school, and later university. My dad had long passed on, and my mum approaching age 60 soon. Looking back now, perhaps they'd have done better had things been different, and earning was not as difficult as it was. Is this then the opposite of fate for me? I wonder....