Still in Our Midst?

September 11

I called Tai Yee up to ask if Grandma's spirit is lingering around. I was curious as I could still feel so.

"Yes, she is as the 100 days mourning is not over yet," Tai Yee said.

I then related to her the two dreams I had of Grandma for two consecutive nights. She appeared asking where all her supplements had gone and I non-chalantly answered her they were taken by my aunts. Shaking her head, she said "Must leave some for others, cannot take all".

The second night I saw her sitting on her favourite rest chair. She turned and asked me to give her shoulders a massage, which of course I was more than happy to oblige.

Relating these to my aunt and uncle, I mentioned that perhaps they should burn another paper doll. She was probably indicating that she wanted more pampering. Man, she did know how to ask :) without asking.

Beloved Po Po

June 9

You cradled your first grandchild when she was brought home after spending 40 days in a glass. Lovingly and patiently you fed her, bathed her, changed her diapers, kept her safe and warm in your embrace every night; nurtured, taught and disciplined her with love, as you did your own children;

She remembers your soft, gentle hands that prepared her favourites dishes, made her tasty kan shui chung (alkaline glutinous rice dumplings) and tong yuen (glutinous rice balls); that rubbed ointment on her upset tummy, braided her hair, and threaded her eyebrows. The same hands that spanked her when she misbehaved as a kid and that gave her blessings at the tea ceremony of her wedding;

Her fondest memories are the times she laid on your lap for comfort, and nestled in your bosoms for reassurance; your voice both her source of strength and guide;

You were the revered matriach who held the family together and were always larger than life, setting examples for your children and their children. You fulfilled your role as woman, wife, mother and grandmother with dignity, and took on life's challenges with great resilience, tenacity, perseverance and determination even in your last day;

You imparted in us great values and principles that you firmly upheld and virtues that each of us (most of the time) fall short of but strive to emulate; your bigheartedness and kindness through your words, deeds and thoughts touched many lives, and your quick-mindedness, tact and wisdom never failed to astound those that crossed path with you;

In your remaining years, you put up with a failing heart and a bad knee. You endured great discomforts and pains with grace and head held high. Steely was your will until you breathed your last in the arms of your loving daughter, on a morning cruise amidst scenic greens and mountains.

Po Po dearest, the pain of losing you and the grief in my heart are beyond words. A loss so great and deep that transcends understanding; I never told you this - I dreamt of your death many times and each time, I woke up with tears streaming down my cheeks. I never failed to ask God not to take you home till I am ready but I guess I'd never be ready. I had to let Him do His will.

Po Po, I can never thank you enough for taking care of me and for your unconditional love. I was both your granddaughter and a late daughter. You are now at peace, reunited with Kung Kung. Till we meet again one day, you are forever cherished and treasured in the heart of your granddaughter.