To Live or Not To Live

March 18

I texted my cousin Maggie, asking her for the date of the fifth session of chemotheraphy that my tai yee was to go for. Her replied came that it was scheduled for 23 March, and my tai yee was adamant not to go as she feared the nausea, vomitting, and fatigue that she'd have to endure thereafter.

With a heavy sigh, I told my hubby. A short moment of silence and he asked if it was true that when one is fighting for life, one choose to die, and when death knocks on the door, one chooses to live. What about those who made the decisions to take their own lives, and half way through the act, they decide to live?

I had my bouts of suicidal thoughts when I was a teenager, back in high school. Death seemed the easy way out from the so-called bigger than life problems for an adolescent, yet I lacked the courage see it through.

Over the years I realised that my faith was my saving grace. God gave each of us life, and life being a precious gift, should not be taken lightly, or for granted. While I might have thought that I did not have to face and deal with problems after dying, I forgot that the ones that live would have to bear the heartache and grief. It was a selfish act had I had taken my own life.

Life is never without problems and challenges, all sorts, all ways and almost every other day. But God is good, and if He allows these challenges in our lives, He would carry us through. He did not promise a rosy life, but giving us strength, grace and mercy when we seek Him. The will of God will never take us where the Grace of God will not protect us.

As much as we wished we could, we could never fully understand and feel the suffering and terrible discomforts that my aunt is going through during this trying period. No one can except those who have survived the treatment and disease. We help in whatever ways that we can; encourage her with words, giving physical support and help but only God can minister to her heart, give strength and courage to her mind and take her fears and restlessness away.

We pray for God's strength and courage for my aunt as she fights this challenge. God hears our prayers and understands her struggles and fears. He is a God that heals and we ask for His healing to begin in her and make her whole again.

If you are reading this, and you are one that believes in God and the power of miracle, please pray with us, for her.

Thank you and may the good Lord bless and keep you and family.

To be or Not to be

February 27-28

Adrian's office had moved to KL Sentral from Menara Keck Seng on Jalan Bukit Bintang as the space rental had shot up way too high since Pavillion KL came about across the busy road. He had to return to the new office to move boxes and unpack. Yes, he became coolie for the last two days together with some others. The whole exercise, in my humble opinion after hearing all the problems they had and came across in the new office, was extremely badly coordinated by the Admin & HR department.

While he was busy in office from morning 10am to night 8pm, I was busy with laundry, cleaning the house and mopping the floor, ironing, did gardening and prepare my own meals. The day before, we had a chat upon his return, and I asked how the all moving went. The movers had moved all the boxes from the old office to the new, but could not move them to the various departments and workstations respectively because the workstations were not fully set up. They had to move them to another area in the new office. Since the set up was only completed few hours later, the staffs had to move the boxes themselves to where the files and documents had to be kept, and since they did not complete the exercise that night, they had to return to office today to move the rest of the boxes and items.

My first thought was that someone should have gone to the new office to check on the progress of the workstation setup, and ensure that the place is ready for the movers and items, with designated areas labelled for ease and convenience.

He grabbed a few large black garbage bags from the storage cabinet, and I asked he had to bring garbage bags to office. The reply was that the item was missed out from the exercise checklist. Duh! of course they have to be made available. Anyone would have anticipated that there would be items to discard, even if they were just papers.

Perhaps it would have been a relatively easier task for one who has done such massive exercise and coordination. Perhaps the person-in-charge had not had the experience, hence overlooked all these smaller details. I guess this is what many mean by being having the actual experience and theoretical knowledge. In theory, the rest of items or factors are status quo while in real situation, there are many variables, and many contributing elements that could affect the plan and flow. Assumptions do not work. One cannot assume that the contractors would finsih the setup by the deadline set. One also cannot assume that everything would be packed into the boxes and be moved to the new place.

What's amazing of all was that only 20 percent of the entire workforce came in on Saturday to help and ensure the exercise was completed. So where is the team spirit? Where has the sense of resposnbility and ownership gone to? I didn't realise that the company belongs only to 20 percent of staffs.